“And yet there is something so amiable in the prejudices of a young mind, that one is sorry to see them give way to the reception of more general opinions.” -Col Brandon, Sense and Sensibility
I’ve always liked that quotation. It’s like it gives you permission to be optimistic. I’ve spent more than a fair amount of time contemplating long term plans recently, basically the kind of plans I couldn’t ever actually piece together at this stage in life, but I think about them anyway.
I’m leaving for Madrid in less than a week, and I don’t even know who I’m living with yet. I don’t know how I’m going to pull second semester together or, despite my best efforts, if I’m going to be able to pick up a second (or third) job. I think I know where I’m going to be next summer, but I don’t know how I’m going to get a good paying job. I don’t know how early I’ll be able to crack down on my studies for the LSAT or how old I’ll be when I finally pay off my students loans.
I don’t know when I’ll get married or where I’ll settle down. I have not idea how long it will be before I can apply my law degree in the way I actually want to use it. I don’t know where I’ll be able to get into law school, or if I will be able to visit them over spring break like I want to.
…but I still like to think about it. I love living in anticipation, because I thrive on my goals. In my mind, I often think of challenges as mental pushups. Uncertainty has always made me uneasy, and it easily brings out my worst traits. That may be why trumping uncertainty and fear about what’s next with a smile and a peaceful heart means so much. Maybe that’s why looking forward to what’s next is so sweet. After all, if you didn’t look forward and imagine what was coming next, you wouldn’t enjoy it nearly as much when you got there.
And so, with that, I’ll continue to hold onto Col. Brandon’s wise words and the amiable prejudices of my 21 year old, (still) young mind.
I think it’s awesome that today is my 21st birthday, that this is my 50th blog post, and (if 7 more people read this today) that I will have had 1000 hits. Just a lot of nice, round numbers.