Tag Archives: stress

In the present

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWithin a four day window, I started a new job, start my final undergraduate semester, will “finish” a chapter of my thesis, and will travel to North Carolina to attend a seminar having nothing to do with any of three previous activities.

I said I’d go to the conference because I was invited in October.  I remember the distinct thought, “It’s the first weekend of the semester.  What could I possibly be missing out on?”  I now have no less than three places I need to be this Saturday afternoon.

Knowing that this week would be uncharacteristically busy, I remember thinking that the drive back to campus in the evenings would be long.  Instead, I find myself wanting the road to be longer and wishing I could script the thoughts that come when I drive.  They’re always the most eloquent.

When I drive home, ideas come out in organized phrases that get strung together and rearranged like they would on paper, and in them is the reason otherwise absent in the momentous chaos and excitement that characterize this last week.  Slipping into mechanized motion (not zoning out, I promise), it’s so much easier to shut off the processor and just be.  And rest.  And pray.

Funny thing is, I don’t even know what that road is called or which way it goes.  It’s just the way home.  This is a slightly embarrassing fact, and I probably ought to look it up in case I need to give somebody directions sometime.  But it all sortof speaks to the point.

To that end, I will cope with the new phone that wouldn’t activate, the possibility of not being able to port my number, and the fact that the library closed at 5pm with all my books in it.  In doing so, I’ll funnel this week’s emotion and stress away from tense joints and toward my fingertips, step away from WordPress and back to Word, and finish draft one of chapter two, tonight. 


An Avalanche

On the water. Valencia, Spain.

Midterms aren’t suppose to hit CSS students.  I do papers every week in place of the chaos of exams and huge papers, essentially trading the stress of the middle/end semester projects for a weekly snowball to the face.  And I like it that way.

Except, this time, the snowballs culminated to a massive showdown, blizzard of ’78 style.

Four papers in five days, plus sudden pangs of exhaustion that are hitting my body like a gust a wind on the open seas.  As I sit and work, my mind jumps, and I can’t remember what I just did anymore.  Despite my genuine excitement for what I’m writing about, all I can think of is the tired radiating from my brain to my every muscle.

I’ve tried sleeping.  It doesn’t go away, neither does my aching throat and stomach pains.  Clearly, I’m sick with something, but today I tested negative for strep and mono.  Complaining feels pointless and selfish, because everybody else is stressed right now too.

Friday feels like a world away, which at this point is a good thing, because I have far too much work to do before then.

-Here’s to hanging on.

A Few Words

Today was my first day off since the weekend before the first team arrived (the second one is here and the the third arrives tomorrow), and I can’t even remember when that was.  It was nice to get a little extra sleep.  Unfortunately, I had to spend most of the day doing laudry, but it still wasn’t too bad.

On another note, one of my projects stretched out over the whole summer is to formalize the internship program.  In that handbook there will be a list of things to bring to New York.  On that list will be walking shoes.  Someone as smart as my mother might think that’s a no-brainer, but it’s not one that I picked up on.  I’ve worn walking shoes maybe 2 days in the last 2 years, so I didn’t think it was necessary.  But I’ve done enough walking all over the city with teams that walking shoes has become a (painful) necessity.  Hopefully I can take care of that tomorrow.

In addition to finding walking shoes, I hope to finally finish the layout for the General Conference display…and get 2 (more) passport photos for my visa (for Spain. I’m studying abroad in the fall)….and get a money order to get my visa….and makecopies of all my paperwork for my visa….and fill out the paperwork….and get the documents for my visa that is currently en-route from Indiana…. and be paranoid that I’m not going to have everything I need to leave the country and get approved in time….and file my receipts with Jeff so I can pay my bills…and meet team number three.

Full day. But a day that will be good if I attack it with the right attitude.  The visa stuff is stressing me out though.