Today was an interesting continuation of yesterday, and by that, I don’t even think I’m quite sure what I mean because I am still digesting it all. I’m interacting with these ideas that are so extraordinarily larger than what I am currently capable of understanding. I’m not entirely sure what to do about it, and that is, of course, a great thing. It means I have so much to learn. It means I am keenly aware of my own limited knowledge, but, still, wow.
This afternoon I had one of those few times where I was actually able to fully tune out of the world and just sit in silence, think, and pray. It was a really cool continuation of everything I was thinking about and exploring yesterday. I should have been exhausted, but I just wasn’t. After lectures this afternoon, I kicked off my heels, put some shorts on, and walked the whole 50 feet between the hotel and a beautiful harbor. I found some large stone benches and while I was initially leeching internet from Johns Hopkins and listening to music, my quickly ipod died, so I was left in quiet.
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how I pray and what I pray for. While sitting out on that big rock I tried to remember how Biblical characters talked to God. In one sense, it seems as though it is and should be casual, just because He’s always there, but in the same sense, we are also talking about the Creator of the universe. Out of fear of preaching Christian platitudes, I’ll stop there, but the apparent contradiction truly baffles me.
Somewhere between watching the ships, sliding out of my flats, and lying down on the big rock I became really overwhelmed with all the ideas and events that like my questions about prayer, seemed contradictory. It was just like I couldn’t mentally compartmentalize all that I was trying to understand in my head or answer any of the few pressing questions that I’ve been contemplating lately. For whatever reason, I looked up an old verse that I used to read a lot in high school. Close to that verse in Zephaniah I came across two lines that stayed with me for the rest of the day. Now, I am throughly hesitant about taking Scripture out of context, but those two lines were just the calm my brain needed.
“He will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing” Zephaniah 3:17
That line about quiet just got me. Like His love just covered all my thoughts and questions. I went back to my room and laid down on my bed and just had this image of Jesus sitting beside me and singing a lullaby as I finally rested. And for the rest of night, whenever those same questions came back to me, I just repeated that verse. And the evening proved to be amazing.