It’s probably actually quite incredible that I made it this far with only one breakdown, but today the last straw flew through the window and still managed to blow back and hit me in the face.
Cork board week before finals
True, no specific, life-altering destruction came my way, but sometimes the accumulation of a thousand incidences manage to imitate that kind of problem.
Two weeks ago, with short breath, racing mind, and finals falling upon me, I defaulted to my classic stress management technique– obscene organization. A list for everything. Color-coordinated notes. A couple hundred flashcards.
Finals Week: Covered up the schedules with what I thought was more important...the people I love.
It’s just what I do. My mind’s version of making sense of wacked out disorder and the impossibility
of perfection. And it helps a lot. When I sit for a test, I remember where it was at in my notes and what color they were. When I’m trying to write, I have an uncluttered space with everything I need within reach.
My law class drags on for another two long weeks, but all the others are done as of today– 4 exams and 2 papers later. It wouldn’t have been so bad, if that whole Spanish language thing still didn’t trip me up. But it does.
As such, writing takes forever. But last night it was fun. Last night, it almost felt like one of those long CSS Thursday nights–always so painful, but in some inexplicable way, fun.
Me and Joe McCarthy were getting along just fine, till about 2am when I realized my sentences were beginning to seemlessly flow back and forth between English and Spanish. I called it quits and went to bed.
The morning started unassuming, what with the paper and some note taking, but disorder descended…fast. It almost feels petty to enumerate, but I don’t think that somehow makes them mean less. Because today, the accumulation of these incidences was enough to make it really hard to choose a positive attitude.
My USB drive disappeared, and without it, I didn’t know how to print at school. I tried buying another one, but I couldn’t find one. And the people at the store were rude. Once I did figure where to email my paper to print it, I learned that the email was down (how does that even happen?) Thankfully, the mean lady who always works behind the printing counter took pity on me and let me borrow a USB drive. As such, I made it to class, with my final project, in time.
paper wads of former notes
As I sat for my Cold War final, I realized that if I hadn’t attended a single day of classes, I could have passed the test. That was nice, but it sort of made all my crammed time studying a detailed Cold War timeline a little irrelevant.
And then, I thought it was all over. But it wasn’t.
My camera spontaneously broke last week. I planned on going to the mall outside of the city after my test with this month’s check and replacing it. I walked into my program office 30 minutes before it closed to learn that I couldn’t get any money without filling out all my evaluations. And I couldn’t fill out my evaluations right away, because I didn’t have access to a USB drive to print.
I’ll get the check on Monday, but it means that my new camera and Morocco are all going to be out of pocket expenses. And it’s a long story, but as a result of bank accounts being in the wrong countries and currency stuff, the reimbursement money is never going to end up back in the account I want it in.
At the mall, they wouldn’t accept my credit card, because I only had a copy of my passport. After a brief, but dejected walk out of the mall, I returned in search of an ATM (because they don’t require IDs). After about an hour of searching, I made my way back to the electronics store, and this time I walked out, camera in hand.
An hour and half later, after verifying that my finances all check out for my trip tomorrow, I was curled up in my bed with the covers pulled tight, my computer, and an episode of One Tree Hill.
–and the post-final crash commences (but not too much), see I got a full day ahead of me now. What with that whole flight to Marrakesh in three hours and whatnot…
(please pray for my safety. they just had some power change hands via elections last week)