A few of unflavorful words could be used to describe my dinner tonight. There really was nothing savory about it. An onlooker might call it inedible, under cooked, or quite simply just gross. I prefer the adjective “distracted.” I think that’s what I’ll call my cooking style from now on, because it is that bad. However, it is only “distracted” and not “forlorn,” because I have not let go of the hope that I will one day be able to prepare a perfectly delicious meal.
Tonight was definitely a new low though. It was epically inedible. I have really gotten to the point that I must really, really try to find amusement in my lack of culinary skill (I’m trying to smile, because the alternative is to get frustrated and that doesn’t do any good). How bad is it that I am almost 21, and I messed up spaghetti? I literally had to throw it out. A few ladies in the kitchen got a real kick out of my dumping my dinner in the trash, but hey, at least they were polite enough to keep straight faces until I brought it up. 😉
I think I’m so bad at cooking just because, right now, food is such a low priority for me. I find it boring. I’m also only cooking for myself and as long as it is as healthy as I can make it and fills my stomach, it doesn’t seem worth the effort to spend any considerable time/energy/money on cooking something exceptionally appealing. I guess I’ve pushed that button as far it can go, because tonight’s meal really failed on the “fills my stomach” part. I mean, seriously, I had the sauce on the pasta before I realized it was still crunchy. In my defense though, I had good reason to be distracted tonight. The kitchen is the hottest part of my un-air conditioned home.
I promise the day will come when I will be able to cook a good meal. Someday, I’ll cook and all the dishes will be hot and ready at the same time, and yes mother, some bright day I will bring the corn cake to all the funerals and church carry-ins. I look forward to the time when I don’t have to call you three times to figure out how to get the pasta jar open (with dad laughing in the background) or ask how I can tell if something has been in the fridge too long. I desperately hope that my future husband will be willing and able to share in cooking responsibilities with me, but there will be a day where I will be able to prepare something delicious for my own family and do it on a regular basis. And after I do all that, I’ll learn how to make a dessert besides dump cake or boxed brownies.
So all this is really just to say, I’m not giving up, but I still got a long way to go.